After months of demanding circumstances, the dust is finally starting to settle. During this time, I’ve reflected on the things I did and didn’t do — moments where I wish I could have acted differently. But one truth remains: there’s no changing the past. While I can’t rewrite history, what has shifted is my inner response to these challenges. It’s this change in perspective that has been the most transformative.
The Power of Truth Over Guilt
In times of hardship, the first instinct might be to feel guilty, inadequate, or like we didn’t do enough. This was true for me. As I faced the impact of my actions (or inactions), the old habits of guilt and self-judgment began to surface. But here’s where things changed: they didn’t stick.
What followed was a deep realization — I didn’t need to hold onto guilt. Instead, I learned to turn my attention inward and focus on what was true. I asked myself: “What is true here?” This simple yet revolutionary question allowed me to break free from the cycle of guilt and self-blame. In fact, it was a practice that helped me shift from the emotional fog of regret to clarity.
The Transformative Power of Byron Katie’s ‘The Work’
Some of you may be familiar with Byron Katie’s transformative self-inquiry method called The Work. Her primary question, “Is that true?” can be a powerful tool in challenging the stories we tell ourselves. When I asked myself, “What is true here?” I wasn’t just seeking an intellectual answer; I was connecting with both my mind and body to explore what was real.
I focused on recognizing the feelings and sensations I was experiencing, rather than pushing them away. It was about embracing the full expression of my emotions — the good, the bad, and everything in between — without overinflating or avoiding the truth of what I felt. The trick was listening without judgment. When I did this, I didn’t fall into the trap of guilt. Instead, I allowed myself to feel my sadness, sorrow, hurt, and disappointment — emotions that are a natural part of the human experience.
Moving From Guilt to Understanding
The shift from guilt to understanding didn’t happen overnight. But each time I asked myself, “What is true here?” I peeled away the layers of noise and confusion. I focused on what was actually happening, not on the emotional stories that clouded my judgment.
In the simplicity of this inquiry, I started to recognize that the emotions I felt were valid. It wasn’t about “fixing” my feelings, but rather acknowledging them in their full expression. By doing this, I began to release the guilt that had weighed me down for so long. What was left was a profound understanding of what had actually happened, and with it, the clarity to move forward. And this clarity allowed me to see if an apology, acknowledgment or amends was needed to be given to someone, and just do that.
Healing Through Self-Inquiry
Healing doesn’t come from denying the past, nor does it come from holding onto guilt or regret. True healing begins when we embrace what is real and true for us — not just intellectually, but emotionally, physically, and spiritually.
The real work is in questioning the stories we tell ourselves and peeling back the layers of guilt, shame, and judgment that keep us stuck. As we make peace with our emotions, we open ourselves to deeper understanding, which is the first step toward healing.
Final Thoughts: The Power of Truth in Healing
So, what is the takeaway from this experience? It’s simple: ask yourself, “What is true here?” In doing so, you create space for healing, mending a hurt, release the grip of guilt, and embrace the wisdom that can only come from self-inquiry. Feelings and facts matter, but the truth is what sets us free.
The rest was just noise
