I am sitting in a small, Islands-bright aqua bedroom a 1/2 block from the beach. The old-school A/C unit in the window rattles loudly, so I open the window, pull on the fan, and bathing suit clad, begin this month’s Musing in the steamy tropical heat. I love this Florida- oceanside, palms swooshing, and balmy breezes grazing my salty skin. Ironically Peter Kater’s ¨The Seminole Everglades¨ streams.
It has been dawning on me the last few days that I am consciously uncoupling from Florida. Although I came to love and see the good of Florida, it´s clear to me it´s time to leave and begin my next chapter. I’m not leaving with blame, judgment, or expecting California to become a panacea. In truth, for various reasons, this was a contentious relationship from the beginning. And in all fairness to Florida, when I began my relationship with it, my annihilated ego, crushed heart, and pain-filled mind were not exactly conscious-relationship ready. But hey, it sure wasn´t all me; let´s face it, it was still materialistic, loud, wacky Florida!
But nearly 20 years ago, despite it all, I committed; my son deserved to have both parents on the same coast and not be disrupted again. But boy oh boy, it was hard. Over time I saw I needed to stop resisting- to learn to stop blaming Florida, others, or any part of myself for ending up in a place ¨I never wanted to live.¨ And now, all these years later, I am leaving this same place with a peaceful, grateful heart for it being precisely as it is. I have become clear, strong, open, and ready for Life to show up in whatever form because of staying in a relationship with something- until the resistance softened. In other words, I was able to deeply accept my life exactly the way it was. Whereas there were endless hopes to escape, now there is nothing but joyful plans ahead for doing and non-doing alike. And I don´t believe one could have arrived without the other; the “no,” and “yes,” were two sides of the same coin.
In this process of consciously “goodbye-ing,” I see that consciously uncoupling requires, as its foundation, to have been entirely in the relationship exactly as it is, first. This healthy surrendering, if extrapolated outward, elevates our love, family, social, work, money, creative, body, and sex lives. They all evolve when deep within our cells, we say ¨yes¨ to Life without folding into old, limiting ways. We have all been shaped by stardust, a unique expression, yet emerging essentially from something in common. So, practice saying “yes” to what is in front of you, especially if it seems difficult, and see what kind of expansion follows mastering non-resistance to Life…
