Man, did I struggle last week. I could not manage, and the usual ways I shift myself weren´t working. In fairness to myself, however, the week was the accumulation of:
- 11 office moves.
- Two real estate transactions.
- Four residency changes.
- Two sets of house and car moves, each over 3,000 miles.
- Returning to co-habiting with an intimate partner.
- Saying goodbye to a 20-year home in Florida.
And all occurring within 18 months!
So, a lot.
When I could not shift the struggling and reactive part of me, guilt and shame tried to take over. Yet, they didn´t; I compassionately saw ¨the how come¨ of my actions and chose not to engage with those feeling-states. Additionally, I could practice being with the discomfort wholly in my body, and in doing so, I could access what felt true for me
rather than stay caught in my mind patterns. And yet, the body still needed time to release it all.
As I sit here, looking at this hazy Bay day, writing, it is still emptying out of me. So, the question was, what could I share here about the above that might be helpful to you amid your own long, challenging period? Here´s what I came up with:
Mastery doesn´t come from being perfect or unaffected; it comes from being able to do the above despite being messy, imperfect, irritable, and super affected. It comes from facing ourselves head-on, being willing to feel any resulting vulnerability and loss of control directly, and then watching yourself…
live…
through…
it.
Now, that is freeing- what is moving through is not you.
