Keeping the Heart Open: Embracing the Flow of Life
Wow! A dream has come true in the form of a stunning home in North Berkeley, nestled within a beautifully landscaped garden. This home has been generously offered to me as a base for a month—a month! It was exactly the vision I put out last year, but as part of my personal practice, I focused on the qualities of the vision then completely let go of being attached to any specific outcome. I am learning to follow the thread of the “Tao,” the non-doing, non-planning part of self, and surrender to Life’s flow, not mine.
The Tough Week That Wasn’t So Awful
However, just last week, I found myself feeling weighed down, not in a dramatic sense, but more like I was walking through thick mud. The colors of life seemed dulled, and a cloud of heaviness loomed. I considered a few possible reasons: the first winter away from the tropics in twenty years, the post-holiday slump, or perhaps even the current lunar phase. But after decades of working with inner challenges, I’ve learned that finding the exact reason for a dark phase isn’t as helpful as taking the small, intentional actions to re-engage with life and light heartedness. After all, it’s not about avoiding difficult times, but about returning to a state of openness—where joy, love, and connection can still flourish, despite the challenges we face. And the more open we are the better able we are to take advantage of opportunities.
Finding the Path Back to an Open Heart
What steps did I take to regain an open-hearted state during such a tough week? The first was to stop resisting the fact that life felt heavy. I realized that fighting against the way things were only added more strain. The answer wasn’t in fixing what felt wrong, but in fully accepting the present moment. By embracing “this is how it is now,” I was able to release tension that had built up inside. The mind, which had been swirling with negative thoughts, calmed down, and with that, my body found a sense of release.
But of course, life isn’t always simple. The process of being grounded in reality while simultaneously open to expansion can be challenging. When an opportunity for growth presents itself, the mind kicks in: Can I trust myself? Will I be okay with letting go of things like my harvest? Can my patients be OK with this when they’ve just returned to in-office care? What if unexpected hurdles arise, like a storm or unforeseen circumstances? Despite these doubts, I chose to fully open up to the opportunity in front of me, and I focused on the following process:
- Notice and sense what arises in the body and mind when the doubts arose.
- Honor legitimate concerns, grounding myself in those concerns without over reaction.
- Sit with each concern, fully discerning if the arising feelings were about the current, or the past.
- Take the simplest action that brings the most resolve with peace and ease.
By engaging with the moment in this way, I could distinguish between concerns I needed to let go of and ones that required action. It was about finding the “razors edge” of balance—neither rushing nor avoiding. The barometer of what feels in alignment for me seems to be an ease in my chest. Opportunities for expansion can bring up resistance: for some, this resistance can freeze them in place; for others, it may lead them to leap without wanting to consider potential consequences. But embracing balance means finding the centerpoint between the poles, honoring that expansion and contraction are part of life. Our goal is to neither push away, nor leap without thought.
Releasing the Heart and Trusting the Flow
When opportunity arises or falls away, we close our hearts for all sorts of reasons—emotional, relational, situational, or even biological. But instead of shutting down and giving up, or jumping in without personal regard, can we remain open and engaged? Can we allow ourselves to feel and process the doubt or discomfort, until it gradually releases, then evaluate what comes next. Can we do the same with the excitement for expansion? It’s not about avoiding pain or pleasure, but about being with it more fully, experiencing the moment of life exactly the way it is. Mastery ultimately comes not in stopping the waves of intensity, but in learning how to surf.
This doesn’t mean there isn’t engagement with arising challenges. And in this case, the challenge is how to be grounded and expansive at the same time. By saying yes to the opportunity, the mind kicks in. Can I trust? Could I be OK with my fruit on the ground? Could I leave my patients who had just returned to the office? What if an early hurricane comes? So, I decide to fully open up to this opportunity, and do the following processes:
- Notice and sense what arises in the body-mind
- Ground in honoring legitimate concerns
- Sit with, and feel, each concern through
- Take the action that generates the most peace
This helps me identify which is a lesson in letting go, or which would be worth opening up to a solution. I approach it from the razor’s edge of what feels balanced; neither rushing nor avoiding. The barometer of what feels in alignment with the Tao/Center/Witnessing Presence, seems to be Peace. Expansion often generates resistance. For some, it’s freezing or feeling rooted in place, unable to make a choice. For others, it’s leaping as if the thrill is the only way; then either denying potential issues, or mopping up after the fact. But the Tao is the center between the poles, honoring that expansion and contraction are part of the same cycle. Neither pushing away, nor grasping/clinging.
¨The less you open your heart to others,
the more your heart suffers¨
Deepak Chopra
