A client asked me recently, “Is it wrong to wish someone harm when they’ve done something deeply destructive?” It was partly rhetorical, partly sincere.
It’s a powerful question—one I’ve sat with for a long time. If, on the highest level, the spiritual path teaches us to resist nothing—to let what arises move through the field of our awareness—then how do we affect real change here, on the relative level of human experience?
In other words:
How do we live in the tension between a cosmic “yes” and a deeply human “no”?
This is the space many of us are navigating now. I live in a mixed community, a beautiful blend of backgrounds, perspectives, and beliefs. I love my neighbors. But like so many places, polarization has made its way into conversations, social feeds, even small talk. The noise is everywhere.
Spiritual teacher Rupert Spira speaks of “relative assistance” and the need to triage the moment in front of us. That means if someone is injured, we don’t philosophize—we call an ambulance. If someone is causing harm, we set boundaries, involve authorities, do what needs to be done.
We respond. We protect. We act.
But how do we hold the wisdom of spiritual clarity while still showing up for a world full of pain, greed, and chaos?
What I’ve come to believe is that one variable matters most:
Hatred.
Can we work for justice, healing, and change without hating others—or hating what has happened
I’ve had moments where the emotion inside me was so intense, so raw, that it would have been easy—natural even—to collapse into hatred. I don’t consider myself a hateful person by nature, but I’ve known grief so profound and anger so sharp that it became difficult to feel anything else.
And yet, my commitment to see clearly and stop learning through suffering is so strong, I’ve been able to release mountains of pain.
Let me be clear: I’m not condoning abuse, manipulation, violence, or any form of harm. I’m not bypassing real consequences or minimizing trauma.
What I am saying is that hatred is too heavy a burden to carry for long.
We let it go not to excuse behavior—but to reclaim our full capacity to respond with clarity and purpose. Hatred warps. It narrows. Eventually, it stunts.
We’re all shaped by our experiences. And while we may strive for compassion, it’s also true that most of us are deeply preoccupied with our own pain. We need to realize that there is a difference between the person who hurt us versus the one we disagree with.
These reactions are deeply human. But if we want to rise above the loop of retribution, we must elevate above the instinct for revenge.
What I’m proposing isn’t easy. It used to frustrate me. But I don’t see another way that leads to peace—internal or external. I don’t believe hatred is something we can simply snap out of. It often has its own momentum. But we can choose not to fan its flames.
Throughout history, we’ve seen individuals rise with passion, clarity, and unwavering commitment—who refused to let hatred lead. They weren’t saints. They were people. People who likely felt the rage, too. But they chose not to let it calcify their hearts. And in doing so, they transformed lives and inspired generations.
They weren’t remembered for their hatred—though it might have been justified.
They were remembered for their vision and the dignity they extended even in the hardest moments.
Today, the world feels heavy with division. I’ve never seen so much tension between people, within families, between ideas. So what do we do?
As practitioners of awareness—whatever your background or belief system—your work is to become conscious of the energy moving through you.
Notice when hatred takes over your thoughts—whether it’s fueled by newsfeeds, conversations, or quiet brooding.
Face it. Feel it. So you can become Free of it.
And then?
Choose not to amplify it.
Because that energy is not you. It’s moving through you. And if you don’t attach to it, it will move on. And in that clearing, you’ll rediscover the vast beauty and strength of your true nature.
When I feel overwhelmed by the state of things, I start here:
“What reactive energy can I let go of right now?”
“What positive action can I take?”
“How can I serve the solution?”
If your values include protecting the earth, supporting the vulnerable, resisting greed, and honoring the dignity of life—then know this:
Your presence matters. And it starts by refusing to let hatred lead.
The quote often attributed to Edmund Burke, “the only thing necessary for the triumph of evil is for good people to do nothing.” But he actually said:
“When bad men combine, the good must associate; else they will fall, one by one, an unpitied sacrifice in a contemptible struggle.”
So I say:
- Let go of the hatred and division you can.
- Associate with the Good.
And remember that your awareness, your voice, and your presence matter.
