I’ve watched many things fall away in my life, some by choice, and others not. The most significant gifts have been everything I’ve let go of to become more present, aware, and quiet. Quiet doesn’t mean “not talking,” just like stillness isn’t only about “not moving.” Quiet is a practice of essentialism, honesty, kindness, and ego dissolution. Quiet is about becoming just as comfortable with being seen as unseen (which is your challenge area?). Playing with a quiet practice will show you your stuff right away.
If you want to enhance your inner quiet, here are four things to explore:
1) Essentialism- When you speak, only speak what feels needed, helpful, and in connection to the other. As Steven Covey said, “seek to understand before being understood.” Track if you are talking to impress or manipulate and if you’re present with the other(s).
2) Honesty- Speak the truth. Speak without attempting to manipulate. This doesn´t mean being honest to all people all the time. There may be holding back information or saying partial truths; however, if you aren’t ready to get honest with that person, ensure you’re honest with yourself as to why.
3) Kindness- Strive not to hurt others with your words or actions. Speak to others from an atmosphere of inner kindness if you can access it. Kindness includes accessing strength, firmness, and clarity when needed. This is about not deliberately causing harm; it is not about being unprotected.
4) Ego dissolution- Communicate without making yourself “special” or “not at all special.” Many say the dissolution of the ego is letting go of the separate self. That means not participating in seeing yourself as better than, or less than, anyone or anything.
Done consistently, you’ll find a quieting of your inner atmosphere, which clarifies intent, and lessens unhelpful urges and drives. Most importantly, when we are quiet, seeing the beauty, goodness, and love in our lives becomes easier.
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