The last time I left the Bay Area to return to Florida, I did not want to go. Of course, I wanted to see my son. And I was looking forward to going to Canada afterward to see my 90-year-old aunts, uncles, and other family members. But honestly, it was as if the cells in my body felt like a sad kid not wanting to leave a favorite park. Next week I am preparing to go again, this time with a one-way ticket, and I look forward to returning to my lovely home, seeing friends, and spending time with my son.
In both instances leaving was planned and preparations made. One time happily, one time with strong, mixed feelings. Making choices is far easier if it feels like “all green lights.” However, taking action when a part of self resists or when you feel pulled in more than one direction is confusing and challenging. It can generate doubt when none is needed.
Taking action when you are conflicted is facilitated by this short inquiry:
1) Do I want to (………)?
2) If I didn’t do (………), how would I feel?
3) Both are felt, seen, and surrendered into, and the entire scenario is considered as a whole.
4) Notice what matters most.
Of course, being with my son and avoiding disappointing him last time could be seen as more important than the part of me that didn’t want to leave California. Because being with him for his birthday mattered more. The above inquiry made it clear. Did it take away my sadness? Nope. Did I suddenly feel differently in my body about it all? Not really. This simple inquiry gave me some clarity and body-based knowing; “I need to go.”
What matters most is usually simple. Acting upon it breeds strength and opens the heart, what used to be called “building character.” I like to call it fortitude and strength. Regardless of the words used, authentic, aligned action feels good. A few moments of inquiry can free you from indecision and doubt, facilitating being Present with what and who matters most in your life.
