The last time I left California to return to Florida, I didn’t want to go. Sure, I was excited to see my son. And afterward, I’d planned a visit to Canada to spend time with aging aunts and uncles, and other family members I hadn’t seen in years. But even with all that waiting for me, my body felt a deep resistance. Like a child being pulled away from a favorite park, I wasn’t ready.
This week, I’m preparing to leave again—this time with a one-way ticket. And it feels different. I’m looking forward to returning to my home, reconnecting with friends, and spending more time with my son. Same destination, same logistics—but a different internal experience. One felt like reluctance, the other like readiness.
That difference is worth paying attention to.
Sometimes, our decisions feel effortless. Everything clicks into place and the direction is clear. But often, we face decisions where part of us says yes and another part says no. We feel pulled in multiple directions. Conflicted. Even when we know something is “right,” it can still feel hard. That doesn’t mean we’re doing it wrong—it means we’re human.
In those moments, clarity doesn’t always come from logic or overthinking. Instead, it comes from getting quiet enough to ask yourself the right questions.
A 4-Step Practice for
Finding Clarity
When you’re in a tough spot, try this quick self-inquiry:
- Do I truly want to do this?
- If I didn’t do this, how would I feel?
- Can I hold space for both my desire and resistance without making either a problem?
- And now, knowing both, what matters most?
This isn’t about forcing yourself to feel good. It’s about being honest with what’s there, and allowing your body and heart to help guide the way.
When I applied this to my own decision—to leave California even though I didn’t want to—I didn’t magically feel better. The sadness stayed. The hesitation stayed. But the answer was still clear: I needed to be with my son for his birthday. That mattered more. And it was clear I would regret not being there.
What Matters Most Isn’t Always Comfortable—but It’s Clear
We often think clarity will feel like a burst of energy or confidence. Sometimes it does. But more often, it feels like a quiet knowing. It’s not loud or dramatic—it just feels true.
Acting on what matters, even when it’s emotionally messy, builds strength. It’s how we grow resilience and inner alignment. It’s how we live with fewer regrets. That old phrase about “building character” isn’t outdated—it’s the foundation of an authentic life.
When you act from clarity—not pressure, not fear, not perfection—you begin to trust yourself. And that trust leads to more confidence and peace over time.
A Closing Thought
If you’re stuck right now—caught between options or weighed down by doubt—slow down. Ask yourself the four questions above. Take a little time for them. Hold space for what you feel. And then pay attention to what really matters.
It may not solve everything, but it will point you in a direction that feels lighter and more aligned with who you are and what you value.
And that, more than anything, is what makes a decision worth following through.
